Emotional maturity is not about mounting an attack against pain and unsavory circumstances so we can find happiness again; real growth is about honing our ability to feel joy in the midst of whatever is going on.

We must fall in love with the process of growth, not our fantasies about the end result.

A love letter to anyone who has ever wanted all the results without any of the effort, and a gentle reminder that, whether we like it or not, we become who we practice being.

Our brains were designed to keep us safe. They weren't designed to help us grow up into secure, clearheaded adults. It’s up to us to bring awareness to our current mindsets and learn to differentiate between helpful thoughts and unhelpful thoughts. This is the beginning of growth.

If we can understand empathy in a different way, perhaps we can learn to contribute what we all need more of right now: Connection.

What if your growth wasn't about doing more things with more intensity? What if it was about finding clarity and digging deep into who you are—who you've always been?

Sometimes we try to prove we have value when we're insecure in our identity. And sometimes we hide out of fear when we feel our worth is threatened. We prove and hide because we're unable to see with clarity that we don't need to be affirmed by anyone to feel a sense of worth. The good news is we can feel a sense of worth all the time if only we do the work to recognize our fears.

We don’t need more intensity to live from a secure identity, we need more clarity.

Making time for relationships can feel like a burden. There is an endless list of things we must get done - and let's be honest, sometimes it's more fun to work or accomplish tasks than be with people! But I also know the rich feeling of gratitude I feel when driving home after spending time with people who matter (even if at first I complained about having to go). When we look back, it is shared experiences and connection - not being a person of action - which bring most meaning to our lives.

There is both an abundance and a scarcity of time - how will you spend it?

I’m the first person to get frustrated when a random conversation derails my plan for the day. But the more I learn, it seems meaningful connection with others might be what we've been looking for all along.

I don't know about you, but I've spent too much of my life worrying about taking the right job, or stressing about how to get out of a difficult season, or delaying starting a business - because I want all the answers up front. But the answers we're looking for don't come until we begin moving in a certain direction. When we dance with what's in front of us - with no expectation of certainty - clarity and wisdom our rewards.

When we find our identity in the way others treat us we're destined to be disappointed. When we find our identity in whether or not our efforts yield the results we desired, we're bound for a future of frustration. We get what we’ve been looking for all along when we stop worrying about what we’ll get in return for living a purposeful life.

We create loneliness for ourselves the more we try to control interactions and experiences. We will see loneliness recede when we focus simply on being with one another as the end goal.

What’s next is never as bad as you think it’s going to be. Peace comes through participation.

All of life is composed of interactions where we’re guiding others or being guided ourselves. In what ways might you show others a different way of living or seeing the world? Equally as important - how might you need to be guided and who might you benefit from following?

Ideas and answers don’t come from more work or better strategy. It is only when we’re willing to walk away from what we deem most important that we’re able to see clearly enough to move forward.