Do You Overcomplicate Your Relationships?
How often do you find yourself approaching your relationships as if they are a problem to be solved?
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Are you ever confused by someone's negative reaction to you trying to "fix" an issue in their life after they've shared their challenges with you? Later you realize they just wanted to be heard, not fixed...
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Do you ever create a detailed plan to streamline a process at work only to find it doesn't help, because maybe what your team really wants is a one-on-one conversation with you once a week?
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Are there times you buy expensive gifts, or create elaborate trips, or over-plan a family gathering in the hopes everyone will feel loved, when all your family really wants is your attention?
Most people I know don't like to have things done to them. We don’t like to be fixed. We don’t enjoy being projects.
What people really want is connection.
It's not that complicated.
But we like to overcomplicate relationships, because solving problems make us feel important.
The problem is, it's hard to be important and loving at the same time.
During this strange season, human connection is more crucial than ever.
I was on a virtual call recently and some college students who are quarantined in their dorms shared how they're staying connected:
They're sliding index cards underneath each others' doors with questions, invitations to go on walks, and silly quizzes.
Index cards in the age of the iPhone
It's not that complicated - all we want is human connection.
But Reagan - these dag-blasted - virtual meetings! We can't figure out how to keep a culture of connection virtually. Everyone is Zoomed out and disconnected! It's out of our control!
I get it - creating connection and intimacy in the time of the coronavirus seems nearly impossible.
But it's not.
Because human connection isn't complicated - we're simply being invited to grow a new set of skills to connect in a virtual world.
What is strange now will feel normal in a couple years. Heck, online dating was once dubbed a service for losers, now everyone is swiping on digital faces looking for love.
If you're struggling to create human connection in a virtual world, I'd love to share what I've learned working with dozens of organizations and running 75+ virtual meetings since the onset of the pandemic.
Join us for:
The Playbook for Virtual Meeting Success
Wednesday, October 7th
12pm - 1pm CT
Remember, in whatever relationship you’re looking to deepen. No one wants to be fixed, we simply want to be seen, heard and respected.
I'll leave you with the wise words a mentor of mine often reminds me:
"People are just trying to teach you how to love them. Are you willing to learn?"