Nobody is Talking About You

Do you ever have trouble sleeping on Sunday nights? Your heart is pounding and you’re worried about all the things you have to do...

My good friend and boss calls this feeling The Doom.

What are we afraid of? I think it's less about the the work and more about our fear that others think we're doing a good enough job.

Have you ever imagined there is a private meeting in a secret conference room where your colleagues talk about whether or not you’re fulfilling your potential?

Me too.

But no one has time to do this, nor are they concerned about you. They’re worried about the imaginary meeting they think everyone is having about them.

We fear a mistake or misstep can ruin us. We worry if we have a human moment that the buzzards will flock. We think everyone is programmed to believe the worst. But these fears are rooted in the unknown.

So we have a choice: we can give authority to unfounded insecurities or we can choose to believe people aren't that cruel - they're better than we think they are. Because, don't we look in the mirror each morning and hope the same thing about ourselves? 

Don't get me wrong, we need to hold ourselves accountable to do good work. We should feel healthy stress to be our best. But there’s a fine line. Fear can be a good motivator in the short-term, but that brand of gasoline burns fast. It’s not sustainable. We’re only able to make our real contribution when we operate out of the trust that we matter more than our work.

Let’s agree to stop listening to The Doom and sleep better on Sundays. I bet the results would be impressive.